Saturday, April 28, 2007
This is not some love-sick post. I am not pining for some guy I'm crushing over. This is about my Uncle.I wanna remember this day.
I wanna remember this great guy who left something in our lives.
I'm going to miss him very much.
I miss his laughter.
I miss his jokes.
I miss his encouragement.
I miss his smile.
I miss his nagging.
I am not one for words, and I really wished I had talked to him more often in the past.
All because of the weird phase of adolescence I went through and am going through, I stopped talking to him that much. I regret it.
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4/28/2007 09:08:00 PM
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Friday, April 27, 2007
Today I went for lunch with Elaine after school, we ate at Holland Village Market. She gave me nice stuff that she bot from her trip to Cambodia. Then we went back to P lobby to fetch HR to go to Matrix.. Elaine brought us up and to the MAU lab. Hui Ru and I talked to PP for awhile in the corridors, and den we met laoren and YM in the lab.. Hahaas.
5 of us - myself, Hui Ru, M and Elaine talked in the pantry until about 4 ba.. But some awkward silences. It was kinda fun tho. Den we went back to the workstation and laoren lemme use com after he used it. Haah. Studied bioinformatics and complained about our lousy teachers..
Den I talked to PP in the lab for 5 mins before Jude came to call his girl back.. And we left after that lor.. And.. I went to see Uncle..
Kind of an eventful day.. But I hate that night.
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4/27/2007 01:04:00 PM
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Thursday, April 26, 2007
SURVIVAL!!
I dont believe it!! ROARSS
We humans need masks to survive? Oh, at home one mask, in school one mask, work one mask? When can we stop changing masks??
Why cant we humans juz be simpler, I want to ask God.. We really should have less emotions. Especially those bad ones like Envy, Lust, Jealousy, Anger, Posessive-ness. It's so easy to envy and hence hate a person for having what we don't have, it's so easy to lust after someone tho the sinful thots are just totally polluting our minds. It's so easy to be posessive and selfish, not sharing stuff with our neighbours, with our fellow humans. Hey, stuff is for sharing. Maybe some stuff like personal stuff cannot, but stuff like knowledge, we should share!! No point being soo selfish and scared that the other person will have an edge over you juz becos he knows what you know.
Haiyo.. I'm also very guilty of every one of the bad emotions mentioned above.. Maybe not too much on lust ba.. Very honestly I'm a selfish person sumtimes.. And I do hate myself for that too.. But what to do, I'm human after all. Tho God made us different, all of us have our own share of.. emotions.
Emotions. Blah. What a bad word. ROARS
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4/26/2007 11:42:00 PM
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I really dont have the mood to continue with school anymore. I dont understand how people can tahan being alone all the time in Poly (yes, I'v seen some odd ones like me).. Its so lonely, and I feel so isolated.
I have a friend I hang out with during free times, but during tutorials and practicals, we are in different classes. That's when I feel
in-tahan-able cos, I dont have a default practical partner, dont have a default sitting partner too. Usually I join two guys but sometimes they'd join the other guys. So no place for mii. And I'm a girl. The only girl amongst the guys.
But cannot blame the people around me ba.. Cos it's ME who chose to be isolated. It's ME who chose not to talk to people. It's ME who choose to keep silent when I dont agree ie not expressing myself. It's so totally wrong, my attitude. But my mood is really not there. How can I talk to people that I cant click with, how to talk to people I dont really like?
And yet I can be so siao when I'm with my friends. I just cant learn to put on a mask, and this is really going to affect me in my future working life!! There's no guarantee I wont land in a workplace with people I dislike. So how do I continue???? I juz dont like being fake manz.
People like mum will argue that it's not being fake, it's being diplomatic, it's being flexible and learning to ignore or change the stuff I can. But I'm not diplomatic in nature, and somewhat inflexible at times when I dont want to be accommodating. I will only change to accommodate my friends, not people I dislike. How do I change that?
*think
*think *think
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4/25/2007 10:30:00 AM
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Saturday, April 21, 2007
Went back to my lab ytd =)
It was a great feeling. Had lunch with YT at Holland V, then went back to the biopolis area. We took the skybridge from one of the buildings to Proteos.
I miss e lab ppl i got to know there during my ITP, and it was like super-great talking to them and hanging out, basically. Hamster and Giraffe were free, so I talked to them, and then Cat, after doing his work, came to join our conversation too. Laoban was busy so I only managed to talk to her when she left her office to go do some other stuff.
But then after 5.30 (ending time on Fridays), I didnt go back with YT cos she had to run an agarose gel.. Sad sad.. But I walked to MRT with Hamster and Cat
Hope to visit again soon, and also see Elaine :)
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4/21/2007 03:16:00 PM
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
| Your Personality Profile |
You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.
You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.
A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.
You are good natured and people enjoy your company.
You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you. |
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4/19/2007 05:50:00 PM
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| Your IQ Is 100 |
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average
Your General Knowledge is Above Average |
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4/19/2007 05:49:00 PM
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| You Are 17 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:44:00 PM
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| You Have A Type A- Personality |
You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:27:00 PM
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| You Are 80% Cynical |
You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results.
You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:24:00 PM
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| You Communicate With Your Body |
This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person.
You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches.
Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others.
A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a big hug always comforts you! |
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4/19/2007 05:20:00 PM
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| You are 93% Pisces |
 |
| You are 67% Aquarius |
 |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:17:00 PM
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| You Are An ISFP |
The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:15:00 PM
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Still very kiddy..
| You Are 36% Grown Up, 64% Kid |
Emotionally, you are mostly a kid - but you're starting to grow up a little.
Remember - only you have the power to make your life better. So go do it! |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:09:00 PM
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Unreal!!
| You Are 20% Left Brained, 80% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.
The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
I dont think my 'left-brainedness' is so low.. I love dogs, and sometimes I'm good at persuading ppl.. And I like quiet, and reading..
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:07:00 PM
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| You Are 90% Psychic |
You are so very psychic.
But you already predicted that, didn't you?
You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.
You're very tapped into the world around you...
Just make sure to use your powers for good! |
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4/19/2007 05:05:00 PM
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| Your Element Is Fire |
Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.
You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.
Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 05:04:00 PM
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| Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Thinking |
You are:
Objective, honest, and credible
Intellectually curious, with many diverse interests
More inclined toward ideas than people
Fiercely independent and unapologetically unconventional |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 04:56:00 PM
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| You Are 76% Intuitive |
You are a very intuitive person. And luckily, your intuition is normally right.
You're wise enough to know that relying on intuition alone can be dangerous.
When your intuition seems really off, you tend to ignore it - and look at the facts instead. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 04:55:00 PM
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| Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning |
You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.
An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 04:50:00 PM
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| The True You |
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.
You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.
You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends. |
i blogged @
4/19/2007 04:47:00 PM
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Pretty good. Sounds like me..
| Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
Extroversion:
You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have low agreeableness.
Your self-interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.
Neuroticism:
You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. |
More things..
Okay so is it believable??
| Your Observation Skills Get A B- |
Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you! |
Nah.. Anyway I'm pretty easy to distract. Visual or auditary stuff just does it.
i blogged @
4/19/2007 04:30:00 PM
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Doggy is the newest addition to my dog toy family.. =)
I wanted dog. And I got dog. I wanted torchlight. And I got torchlight.
Hahaa.. Is not the perfect torchlight for reading books by, but it's perfect for using at night in my room, to pack my stuff. As Im not allowed to switch on the room light once my maid is in bed. [And she goes to bed so freaking early.. 9.30 - 10pm neh.. at that time still hvnt choose my clothes for the next day, or packed my bag, or packed my toys on the bed] And the doggy changes colour every few seconds, which i really really like. Need to buy alot of new batteries tho, since i switch it on every night. And hopefully it's durable.. Hope the light bulb inside doesnt burn out, I dont think I'd wanna dig open his tummy to get his light source out.
My wish is to get a real siberian husky tho :) Beautiful-looking doggy devil spawn (dig those freaky eyes!!)
i blogged @
4/18/2007 09:52:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Seems like forever. But today's only the second day!! Ahh.
But today sth farni happened.. Was in the library waiting for my lunch kaki to call me after finishing her prac (cos she's different class from me), and was reading a book while lounging on the library sofa.. With my feet stretched out ramrod-straight onto the bookshelf in front of mi.. I was kinda focused on the book, focused so that I dont fall asleep (that's how boring the book is), until I saw a pair of totally-black shoes stick themselves onto MY bookshelf.
I looked up to see who the owner of the offending yet familiar-looking black shoes were.. And, hey, that's Matthew. (the shoes and feet belong to matt, ivan was beside him) And Ivan. Both of them were staring at me and laughing. =XX
Doh~~~ Why ask me why i 'didnt recognise them'.. So weird lor.. I was looking at the book, not at my surroundings.. I was TOTALLY FOCUSED on keeping my eyes focused on one point of the book.. FOCUSED on staying awake..
I want to sleep. Isnt it a torture dragging oneself out of bed at an infernally-early 6am in the morning?? Every single day. And I have to rely only on my alarm clock. Once I slept through the entire time with the alarm clock ringing.. Too tired so my ears juz shut off the sound totally.
I want to join a club. I was watching TV this evening during dinner, when I suddenly felt soooo empty, as if someone stuck a vacuum into me to drain off everything.. I felt as if life didnt matter anymore, not if Im going to feel as miserable as I do everyday in school. I feelll miserable in school only... Manz. Wanna join a club to occupy myself.
i blogged @
4/17/2007 08:28:00 PM
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Monday, April 16, 2007
OopS =XX
School started liao. Today's the first day of Sem One of Year Three. Another like, 35 more weeks, by my calculations.. if each sem has 17 weeks.. KNS. Shall start countdown liao. I really hate school manz..
Sian.. Having to go school with ppl I dont like.. And those who ignore mii, as if I'm invisible?!! Since they ignore mii, I shall do that too. I cannot
tahan fakes who ignore mii usually, and yet act soooo chummy with mii to 保持形象. I can sense the superficiality behind that 'friendly' facade. Today, two ppl from my ex-group said
hi to me. (the rest juz ignores mii and i them) One of them seems kinda sincere, but I cant help wanting to avoid her cos of the ppl who are always tagging along behind her. At least she's more
sincere den the other gal. Faker la. Den I gotta fake back. So tired. I dont wanna fake le so Im juz gonna act the usual way I act towards them - indifferent.
Buai tahan liao wor.. Luckily got my ipod with my songs to 陪我. Still got practicals and tutorials!!! Luckily got two nice guys allow me to join them.. But still, not that close yet so feel damn weird lor. Haizzzzz..
Stabbed in the back by the very ppl I trusted. I was wrong.
i blogged @
4/16/2007 08:03:00 PM
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Friday, April 13, 2007
Today last day at MAU MAU le. So had some farewell mini-party in the pantry for mii. Haha.. The guys there are so nice!! Got me a prezzie and card, so nicely-doneup and also must not have been easy to choose the gift.. Thanks guys.. Like them alot!! :)
YaoMin the Hamster, Melvin the Giraffe and Lawrence the Cat
My MAU peeps and mii too :) I like this pic alot, cos its so cute!
The gift: Magic Light Doggy!! So beautiful at night. Jealous arh. Haha.. Mum wants the piggy version :)
Pink light
White light
Cyan light
Blue light
i blogged @
4/13/2007 08:10:00 PM
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
12 April 07Thursday already le.. Kinda tired.. and bored.. and... I dont know how to describe my feelings.. but can say will be a little glad of some respite from science..
for two days during the weekend -.-
Very very tired. Guess I gotta gear myself to sleep early so I can wake up IN TIME for school. What the hell.. Can I not go bak... I will be looking forward to lunchtime always, so I can escape from my classmates and from studies. Lolsss
I need to find sth else in life that can make me happi. And that consumes little time. Hmm..
i blogged @
4/12/2007 04:46:00 PM
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Monday, April 09, 2007
Why am I human?!?!I really really hate it when I get attached to a place. Stony-faced though I may be, I find it really hard to leave a place once I have spent some time there. My stony face is just a facade. Facade, mask, whatever you call it. PHANTOM!!!
All the memories just start flooding my brain when I pass by that place, and knowing that they (the memories) cant be relived, juz makes me sad all over again. That's why I dont wanna have to experience this kinda thing again. Like trying to force myself not to go to new places; stop myself from making new memories; stop myself from reminiscing. Save me the tons of pain!!
I wanna watch Phantom of the Opera. Yet again, I dont. I know I will love the musical. I know I will wanna watch it again and again. I know I will listen to the music forever replaying. Even just listening can make me love the song.. What more of the actual musical??? Oooh..
What's wrong with mii, why dont I wanna go for things I know I will enjoy??? Reason: cos I know I'll feel sad once that thing is over. Nothing can buy back a memory; definitely not money. =XXX
Ooh why am I human??!?!??!?!?!?!
i blogged @
4/09/2007 09:46:00 PM
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Sunday, April 01, 2007
追这一生也在进取
这分钟却挂念谁
我会说是唯独你不可失去
好风光似幻似虚
谁明人生乐趣
我会说为情为爱仍然是对
谁比你重要
成功了败了也完全无重要
谁比你重要
狂风与暴雨都因你燃烧
一追再追
只想追赶生命里一分一秒
原来多麽可笑
你是真正目标
一追再追
追踪一些生活最基本需要
原来早不缺少
ha......
有了你即使平凡却最重要
好光阴纵没太多
一分钟又如何
会与你共同渡过都不枉过
疯恋多错误更多
如能从新做过
我会说愿能为你提前做错
一追再追
只想追赶生命里一分一秒
原来多麽可笑
你是真正目标
一追再追
追踪一些生活最基本需要
原来早不缺少
h a......
只得你会叫我彷佛人群里最重要
有了你即使沈睡了
也在笑
Chase
As the song goes, "这一生也在进取, 这分钟却挂念谁"; literally translates as "All my life I've been chasing, Whom should I miss at this moment?"
My sentiments exactly. I'v lost count of the number of times I'v been chasing something: some friendship, some material want, some emotional comfort. And I'v also lost count of the number of times I'v missed someone. Awww.. "Good life is like an illusion". We can only envision life as a bed of roses but that's seldom the case cos God usually doesnt make our life that much easier for us. Arrrhghgg
CHASE
Translated by Jenny KL
All my life I've been chasing
Whom should I miss at this monent?
I'll say only you whom I can'y miss
Good life is like an illusion
Who will understand my life?
Living for love is my belief
Who's more important than you? Failure or success is no more important
Who's better than you? You turn the tempest into the fire
Chorus
Keep on chasing for every moment in life
But it's stupid since you're my only intention
Keep on chasing for the basic need of life
But I've already got much more *
Even though life is simple, it's important to be with you
Good times are not many; a brief moment would do
Just being with you wouldn't make it pointless
The deeper the love,the more misunderstandings there are
I would never regret the love we have
Chorus
Only you are important
Even though I've lost everything I still have you
i blogged @
4/01/2007 08:45:00 PM
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YaoMin the Hamster, Melvin the Giraffe and Lawrence the Cat 
My MAU peeps and mii too :) I like this pic alot, cos its so cute! 
Pink light
White light 
