I really dont have the mood to continue with school anymore. I dont understand how people can tahan being alone all the time in Poly (yes, I'v seen some odd ones like me).. Its so lonely, and I feel so isolated.
I have a friend I hang out with during free times, but during tutorials and practicals, we are in different classes. That's when I feel in-tahan-able cos, I dont have a default practical partner, dont have a default sitting partner too. Usually I join two guys but sometimes they'd join the other guys. So no place for mii. And I'm a girl. The only girl amongst the guys.
But cannot blame the people around me ba.. Cos it's ME who chose to be isolated. It's ME who chose not to talk to people. It's ME who choose to keep silent when I dont agree ie not expressing myself. It's so totally wrong, my attitude. But my mood is really not there. How can I talk to people that I cant click with, how to talk to people I dont really like?
And yet I can be so siao when I'm with my friends. I just cant learn to put on a mask, and this is really going to affect me in my future working life!! There's no guarantee I wont land in a workplace with people I dislike. So how do I continue???? I juz dont like being fake manz.
People like mum will argue that it's not being fake, it's being diplomatic, it's being flexible and learning to ignore or change the stuff I can. But I'm not diplomatic in nature, and somewhat inflexible at times when I dont want to be accommodating. I will only change to accommodate my friends, not people I dislike. How do I change that?
Am a girl who generally acts nice in public, but inside her head, she probably thinks you're a waste of life. And that's why she's quiet.
The One & ONLI evil~ being
• 20
• Aquarian-Piscean
• Split-personality
• Highly random
• Loves to play with words
• Easily amused
• Stony face
• Typical characteristics of a person who loves red - need I say more??
• Singapore
• Would rather be alone than with people she dislikes
• Gets along easily with people sometimes
Wishes
• To be a normal human being
• To adapt more easily
• To integrate into society without conforming
• To be successful in all aspects
• To be an all-rounder
Interests - what activities I'm interested in -
• Reading
• Supernatural
• Watching movies
• Inline-skating
• Surfing the net
• Listening to music
• Going out with friends
• Chatting with friends
• Philosophizing - tho ppl might think it's mundane
• Engaging in intellectual conversations with intellectuals
• Psychology - knowing more about the human mind
Hobbies - what I always do -
• Daydreaming
• Surfing the net
• Listening to music
• Chatting with friends
• Sometimes just being alone with myself
Loves
• Death Note
• Ryuzaki a.k.a L
• Matsukun
• Nakatsu
• Toma
• things that glow/light up in the dark
• Red
• Bright colours
• Horror movies
• Pirates of the Carribean 1 & 2
• Gor Gor
• Dogs esp. Siberian Husky
• Captn Jack Sparrow
• Ice cream
• Chocolate
• Tomato Juice
• Cheese cake
• Reflecting
Likes
• Gore
• Being alone to enjoy my peace
• Reflecting
Hates
• Ppl who yell
• Fakes
• Liars
• Attention-seekers
• Noisy ppl
• Loud-mouths
• Backstabbers
• Unreasonable ppl
• Irresponsible ppl
• Hypocrites (practice what you preach!)
• Act-like-they-know-it-alls
• Fish (whether ornamental or those served as 'food')
• Cake
• Cream
• Dull colours
• Fear
Material Wants
• new BIG sling bag
• L photobook (out in Kinokuniya)
• new Nokia 6280
• Siberian Husky
• Skate Bagpack
• Ski apparatus
• that cool Japanese clamshell phone they always use in dramas
• anything that glows/lights up
• Etnies Skater shoes
• Dramas (DVD with Eng subs)
*Honey & Clover
*Hanazakari no kimitachi e
*Akihabara@Deep
• Musicals (DVD with Eng subs)
*Cat in Red Boots
Message(s) of the Year
• I LOVE TOMA.
• I LOVE CAT IN RED BOOTS.
• I LOVE 'MELTING SNOW' AND 'THE WORLD'.
• I LOVE the song 'American Pie'!!
• I LOVE Angel of Music, Phantom of the Opera
• I want to ski again
• I want to try snowboarding
• I am not HIGHLY intelligent. I dont have a MENSA mind so back off, demanding ppl!
• I hate school.
• I WANT TOMA STUFF!!
• I want to go to Japan
• I want to learn Japanese
