I feel so fucked-up. Nothing in my life is going right.
I feel the world has turned against me. Or maybe, just maybe, I have turned my back against the rest of the world. Ther's no difference.. Cos either way I am still at odds with the world.
I wish all these would stop. I wish I could get back all the faith that I had a long long time ago. The belief that nothing in the world can or will go wrong, the belief that all's right in life.
I dont know if all this is because I have forsaken the path of Christ. I no longer say myself as a Christian. Even in the past, I did not rely on God, I didnt have faith in him.
There was just no way out then; I couldnt find the faith. It was never really there in the first place. I hope I will find the light at the end of the tunnel soon. This sucks. Fuck.
Sometimes I really wish Money would be gone from the world, so that it will no longer be said that money is the root of all evils.. because people are often Materialistic, chasing after some brand or the other, or working their asses off just for one bit of plastic - the Credit Card.
I think because of Materialism, a lot of people in this world have now lost their consideration. Whatever happened to holding the door for others, moving aside to allow others to walk past, or enter the train? Whatever happened to being careful in everything we do so that we dont mess up the place for the next user? Whatever happened to our P's and Q's? I'm soo fed-up with these kind of people. As my friend rightly said, "everything people do nowadays, is mostly money-driven". Totally. The thinking that a lot of people have nowadays, is: if it's not advantageous to me/helps me earn money/boosts my reputation, what do I have to do all these for? There is no point. I don't think there's any such any such thing as no point. We do things out of consideration, not for the prestige of Money or Fame. Otherwise, the world would be seriously wrong, and God will have to send another Great Flood to wipe out all these bad... STUFF.
But then, if Money was gone, then everything that we have or need will be based on trade and generosity. Somehow I doubt very much that everyone would be kind and generous, and I'm very very sure there'd be unfair trade and looting. Looting by people who are greedy, and by people who are afraid this kind of world (without Money) would be only temporary.
And then if people have nothing to trade in the first place, would they be able to get other things they need/want? No way right. And there'd be lazy buggers out there who would rather sit and wait for things to be produced, and pillage their way through their lives. Whoo. And who'd be the ones staying whole days in factories operating machines so that we get nice things out of raw materials? As humans I dont think anyone in their right minds would do all these when they have a choice to stay at home and laze about. Sure, there'd be a handful. But only a handful would not be enough. Demand will far outstrip supply.
So then, a world without Money is not a solution.
Ahh why dont we all just learn to be more considerate and dont take others' actions for granted? I realise that I myself do take consideration for granted lol. For example, if people hold the door for me, I dont say 'thank you', because I take it for granted; but if someone doesnt move aside to make way for me when I'm approaching, I get pissed off.
I also realise that I'm becoming so much like the people that totally piss me off - becoming inconsiderate. I really ought to change as soon as possiblE!!!
been having a splitting headache the past few days. brain's beating against the inside of my skull. the impending doom of which i'd rather not know... sighss
It's been ages since I updated my blog ler.. I really have nothing to write here without actually getting some people riled up.. Cos I know there's sure got to be some generalisation (made by me) like 'people like these are so whatever blah blah blah'.
Haix. My English standard has really dropped alot. I have forgotten how to tactfully phrase my sentences in such a way that they offend no-one. So it's better for me to say nothing at all, until I can get my words out the right way. I shall go and read more books. Not textbooks huh. Storybooks.
Friday. EMOLING please come along!! (I havent confirmed anything yet cos I dono how long i'll stay in school!! sorry!!!)
Saturday. Quick! It's DemonKing's bday! I want to meet my cousins! And we have badminton.
I want a better life. I swear, when I graduate, I'm going to go inline skating! Maybe learn to drive a car too!! I love our Toyota Picnic.. SuiGu chose the car. It's big and spacious.
I want to ride a motorbike. But mum says NO. She says only if my hubby allows it. I'm the hubby! How can a hubby have a hubby?? And I heard we have to carry our motorbikes in case it overturns or something. WTH. I'm not STRONG ENOUGH. How heavy is a motorbike anyway??
Shall begin with the FYP then. Matt and Ivan were like discussing about the confluence of the Hela cells we're culturing.. lol.. so me and Ivan went to Level3 to find Mrs Mark.. abt da cells.. Den while waiting in her office (cos she was talking on e fone) I talked to Ivan.
Den during da time, got some cleaners doing sth to the window of her office (on a gondola outside teh building).. den hor.. i think one of da guys banged against the window or sth.. and then i FREAKED out. FREAKED as in really jumped man.. AHH. And den i grabbed Ivan's arm. Tt was soo weird la. cos imagine if ur fwen was juz talking happily to u.. den suddenly jump and grip ur arm and den start laughing her head off.. Im siao. I think. Year 3's getting to me.
Either Im damn quiet or damn easily stimulated. AHH my poor fwens. =//
And ytd WL said im insane. Oh man. Im honoured!! x)) Proclaimed insane by an insane person herself. LOL!
today went down to vivo to support wei's satay burger cook-out. met sq and weiyu and weiyuan der too. hah. weiyuan ate 3 burgers. omgg. and weiling was so cute. omgg.. two pony tails and wearing the malay costume. and enticing guys.
den went with them to jurong east (took the mrt - talked crap on train.. talked about SAW) to meet their parents.. they got kinda pissed off at them tho. hahaas. nvm la. den wei's mum talked to me in teh car. i was like.. "huh?? sorry??" many times.. cos i wasnt paying attention, plus sumtimes mo teng doh. den dey commented on my face and sq was like looking at me?? omggg. and he and weiyu are like those mini-couples in puppy love x)) ahhaa
we reached sq's house, and he got the movies i said i'd claim from him. and i let the kids use my laptop.. =// sth's wrong with me. cos i would NEVER ever let them use. cos i cant stand their sticky fingers banging on teh keyboard. yet. we had to. cos we wanted to watch SAW3 on sq's lappy.
we watched halfway, den transferred to a spare room to watch.. cos of kids who keep coming to bug us, and parents who came to bug us too. same thing happened in hte spare room; kids coming to ask, anyone here?? duhh. do we look like a bunch of morons who let kids hide in our room while we're watching a show tt's like, M18??
saw3 was gory. first time i watched an american show like that. one reason why i don really watch american horror: i think they're cheap thrills and not scary at all. and the way they freak ppl out is totally different from asian. asian ones play on that niggling fear at the back of our minds - like what happens if we do a certain sth, will a ghost come out and haunt us? and they build on the basics of what is familiar to asian audiences - taboo practices like not combing ur hair in front of mirror at midnite.
but with shows like SAW, i change my mind. SAW is for ppl with pervertic - kinda - minds (like mine.) i LOVE the beginning part where the guy was chopping off his own leg.. and he went on to break it *cracckk*
another fav part is when the joints of this guy was twisted until.. well, you get the idea. and yes, sq is right, that show is GREAT!! onli for psycho ppl tho. and that's saying sth. x))
dur that show, wei was squeezing my shoulder.. and going 'aaaiyeee.. thats so SICKK' *squeeze squeeze*. and me, i was 'ooohhh wowww... eeeekss omgg' *grips sq's tee*
aft that we were watching 'Mr. Vampire'. den ma said i had to go.. sad sad. cos that show is hilarious. involves a bunch of vampires following a priest's actions, and two pervertic guys and a karate-chopping girl.
Am a girl who generally acts nice in public, but inside her head, she probably thinks you're a waste of life. And that's why she's quiet.
The One & ONLI evil~ being
• 20
• Aquarian-Piscean
• Split-personality
• Highly random
• Loves to play with words
• Easily amused
• Stony face
• Typical characteristics of a person who loves red - need I say more??
• Singapore
• Would rather be alone than with people she dislikes
• Gets along easily with people sometimes
Wishes
• To be a normal human being
• To adapt more easily
• To integrate into society without conforming
• To be successful in all aspects
• To be an all-rounder
Interests - what activities I'm interested in -
• Reading
• Supernatural
• Watching movies
• Inline-skating
• Surfing the net
• Listening to music
• Going out with friends
• Chatting with friends
• Philosophizing - tho ppl might think it's mundane
• Engaging in intellectual conversations with intellectuals
• Psychology - knowing more about the human mind
Hobbies - what I always do -
• Daydreaming
• Surfing the net
• Listening to music
• Chatting with friends
• Sometimes just being alone with myself
Loves
• Death Note
• Ryuzaki a.k.a L
• Matsukun
• Nakatsu
• Toma
• things that glow/light up in the dark
• Red
• Bright colours
• Horror movies
• Pirates of the Carribean 1 & 2
• Gor Gor
• Dogs esp. Siberian Husky
• Captn Jack Sparrow
• Ice cream
• Chocolate
• Tomato Juice
• Cheese cake
• Reflecting
Likes
• Gore
• Being alone to enjoy my peace
• Reflecting
Hates
• Ppl who yell
• Fakes
• Liars
• Attention-seekers
• Noisy ppl
• Loud-mouths
• Backstabbers
• Unreasonable ppl
• Irresponsible ppl
• Hypocrites (practice what you preach!)
• Act-like-they-know-it-alls
• Fish (whether ornamental or those served as 'food')
• Cake
• Cream
• Dull colours
• Fear
Material Wants
• new BIG sling bag
• L photobook (out in Kinokuniya)
• new Nokia 6280
• Siberian Husky
• Skate Bagpack
• Ski apparatus
• that cool Japanese clamshell phone they always use in dramas
• anything that glows/lights up
• Etnies Skater shoes
• Dramas (DVD with Eng subs)
*Honey & Clover
*Hanazakari no kimitachi e
*Akihabara@Deep
• Musicals (DVD with Eng subs)
*Cat in Red Boots
Message(s) of the Year
• I LOVE TOMA.
• I LOVE CAT IN RED BOOTS.
• I LOVE 'MELTING SNOW' AND 'THE WORLD'.
• I LOVE the song 'American Pie'!!
• I LOVE Angel of Music, Phantom of the Opera
• I want to ski again
• I want to try snowboarding
• I am not HIGHLY intelligent. I dont have a MENSA mind so back off, demanding ppl!
• I hate school.
• I WANT TOMA STUFF!!
• I want to go to Japan
• I want to learn Japanese
I want to ride a motorbike. But mum says NO. She says only if my hubby allows it. I'm the hubby! How can a hubby have a hubby?? And I heard we have to carry our motorbikes in case it overturns or something. WTH. I'm not STRONG ENOUGH. How heavy is a motorbike anyway??
